A Colonel in the Guards was notorious for failing to pay his bills on time, if ever.

One of the debt collection companies was giving him a hard time and inundating our Colonel with letters and phone calls. In exasperation he wrote back:

"Sir,

 I feel that I should advise you that my bills go into a hat, and at the beginning of the month, I draw out one and pay it in full. 

If you continue to pester me, I shall no longer enter your bill into my hat."

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